Sunday, February 13, 2011

CHILDISH SMALL GIRL!!!

Talking about my life has always been like stepping on glass, I was afraid if I did it, the glass would break in the early morning hours of December 28th, 1989, a young infant peacefully joined a new world. Nor Azizah Abdullah was born in Baling Hospital, at the mean time she was living in the city of Kedah. I lived a very usual life like most people. I have been through more hard times, then good times. I will tell you about all the good things that had happened and all the bad things that had happened, and also what I want to happen in the near future. 

I lived in Kedah with my mom, dad, brothers and sister. Being the youngest you always tend to get picked on but it was always fun just spending time with them all. I lived in Kedah  for the 22 years of my life. When I was born, my brother was five-years-old and hid under the table from me. Abu Bakar Zaki is a sweet boy and he would do anything for me, but like all brothers and sisters we fight like cats and dogs. Sometimes when no one was around, my brother would come up to me and bite my toes for no reason....ahahaha.... its too funny right? I still love him but only because he is my brother.

I started school when I was six-years-old. I went to kindergarten through a year and while I was there, I won an award for perfect attendance. I started school, met some new friends and even started to play netball. Being as young as I was I didn’t know how to get through it, but I knew it had to be done. It is our life. I still moved on it’s a hard thing to do but its something that just needs to get done. 

I started high school at Baling. Where I need to struggle for  my dreams. I never thought I would meet someone in high school and want to be with him for the rest of my life, but it happened. My first love. We have been with each other for almost two years and its been wonderful. The beautiful relationship...opsss..my mom always told me its ‘cinta monyet la baby’...huhuhuhu.... He taught me everything. About life and study. I am really admiring him. But its not remain to be good part in my life. We had broke up. He went far away from my life. He become very brilliant and successful boy. Me??? I got very bad result in my spm examination. I become a looser. Why??? Because I am frustrating with my relationship between me and him. It is my fault...my nanny always said ‘gatai merla’.....ahahaha....yes, I am!!!!

Then I further my study at Malacca. I was taking Diploma in Law. Its trough 3 years. Finally,  the day I waited for my whole life had came. Graduation day was something I will always look back on something I worked hard on for twenty years of my life. After graduation I guess you can say I became an adult. It was time to start doing things on my own. Very difficult part in my life.
It is true what they say: “Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward”. This saying has been more evident in my life in the last 22 years.

Opppss..... I forgot something. About my love story. Too many times get hurt after my first love, but its doesn’t gave me the end of my love story. I had fall in love with a guy that old five years than me. Our relationship only stand around two years. Its really like ‘kepala dihempab batu yang besar.....oooouuuucchhhh!!!! sakitnya’.. he get married with the other girl. In other word, ‘curang!!!!’... be cool, okay...yeah, maybe we are not meant to be together...... I???? Crying, crying and crying..... childish small girl!!!

After a year I found another boy. He make my heart flourish back after one year I don’t have any boyfriend in my life. I mean special boyfriend. Its 18th of January 2010, at early in the morning. My phone was ringing. I’m yours..... I mean the phone ringtone... We were having nice conversation. He was a caring and gentle boy that I ever met. Our friendship go on smoothly. I had met his parents, his family.... at his sister’s wedding.  And its become most beautiful when I become his sister brides-maid. Really sweet moment.... and its become sweetest when he gave me a rose in front of his family..... I want to cry...really appreciate him.... I love him damn much... really.....

Life to me means friends and family who you can trust and who trusts you. I am pretty much on the happy side of life, but like all teens I do I have my "days of." That means I do have some sad days or depressed days. I have a few friends here that sort of look out for me and when I am having a bad day, I have someone here to talk to. I make my days go by thinking of either the next hour or what I will do when I get home or on the weekend. I'm not seeing anyone now but when I did have a boyfriend, our favourite places to go were the movies and out to bowling or Mc Donald’s ....yeah, his favourite place... its make me thinking of Big Mac...yummmmmyyy... Sometimes we went to the padi field...with his prelude, just once. We were together and I really hope it was forever.... until the end of my life.... is it true??? ..... L

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are…”

After I hit rock bottom, I realized I couldn’t afford to make any more mistakes so I decided to give my life back to God, Allah s.w.t..

The way you see your life, shapes your life because how you define life determines
your destiny…”

“Trusting God completely means having faith that He knows what is best for your life”

What my mom always said to me??? We have no rights to ask when sorrow comes, “why did this happen to me?” Unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. thanks mummy...


Finally, with all the bad things that happened in the past there was things that you just can get over but you have to move on about. Gone in my life I feel have only made me be a stronger person in life, I feel I can almost go through anything now. The present that I am in now or next, I could never be any happier with, to have a great boy, maybe...lets time determine it, a great family, and able to get a good education all at one time is something remarkable to do. My future is just some goals that I make I hope to accomplish them. My goal is to finish study and get married, oppsssss.... no, no, get job first....hehehehe... have some kids settle down with a job that I will earn myself. Then once I get all settled I will be back to university somewhere to future my study to another step. Yes!!! The glass will never break, cause I am strong. Please have faith on ALLAH, that I will success in my life no matter what happen...... 

INSYAALLAH......BARAKALLAHUALAIKUM~~~ J


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